Now that I have your attention (#clickbait), this Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about a common result of one of the greatest acts of love aka sex.
A 2016 study revealed only about 65% of women in heterosexual relationships experience orgasms and 95% of men in heterosexual relationships experience orgasms.
This is due to a number of reasons. One of the most common reasons women experience fewer orgasms than men is the lack of cultural/societal awareness around female sexuality. Many women do not know what they want/need because they haven’t explored for themselves. And most men don’t know what women want/need because there’s a lack of communication.
This is why #selflove is so important! Self-love can be positive affirmations, meditation, eating your vegetables, and masturbating.
Masturbation is crucial in understanding your body and understanding what stimulates you and your beautiful uniqueness! However, doing all the other things is just as important. Mindset is key to all aspects of health and sexual health is no different!
Another reason many women do not experience orgasms is because they experience low libido or a low sex drive. I talk to Dr. Leah Gordon of Tribe Medicine all about low sex drive and what you can start to look into if this is what you’re experiencing on my podcast, Mahan Health w/ Dr. Hanisha. This is not just something women experience. Men are having less sex now due to a lack of desire as well and I talk to Dr. Michael Moeller about this in my episode on Testosterone.
Okay so some people don’t orgasm enough, but is there such thing as orgasming too much?
According to Chinese medicine, orgasms can replenish the “Jing” or the essence of our beings. This means it can have a positive impact on our health. However, for men, ejaculating can weaken the Jing. This may seem confusing to our western minds because we usually learn that orgasms only come with ejaculation for men. However, this is simply not true.
Men CAN have orgasms without ejaculating and when they do this, they can experience more vitality.
The belief in Chinese medicine is that sperm is life force. We learned in sex education in 6th grade that the sperm fertilizes the egg and that is how the miracle of life occurs so this makes a lot of sense.
In Chinese medicine, sexual intercourse for men had two purposes:
2. Strengthen a man’s vitality by absorbing the Yin essences of a woman.
At this time, conventional research has not been able to prove the benefits of retention orgasms. However, anecdotal experiences reveal many men are able to have multiple orgasms in a single session with no recovery period and extended orgasms that can last up to 30 minutes!
Gentlemen, if you’d like to learn more about how you can have multiple, longer non-ejaculatory orgasms, Nat Eliason simplifies the process really well in his blog post.
This Valentine’s Day try to replenish your Jing. If you’re trying to conceive then of course let that life force out! However, if that is not the goal at this time focus on retention and see what that feels like. Replenish your Jing with a partner or doing it for yourself but either way let’s bring back that vitality!
If you’re experiencing a low sex drive and would like to address this further, schedule a FREE discovery call with me here and we can get to the underlying cause!
Frederick, D.A., John, H.K.S., Garcia, J.R. et al. Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample. Arch Sex Behav 47, 273–288 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z
Winn, Michael (1984). Taoist Secrets of Love – Cultivating Male Sexual Energy. Santa Fe, New Mexico: Aurora Press, 1984.