Throughout history we as humans have been conditioned to equate productivity with worth. So it’s no surprise when this shows up in things like workouts, healthy habits, and more. As soon as the motivation is gone it becomes easy to shift into shame and guilt, or overcompensation to ‘make up’, or flat out freeze with the desire to do anything having disappeared. But, I encourage you to maybe reframe motivation. What it is, how it shows up, all the pieces. When motivation is low, that’s giving you information, it’s giving you more data, it is not an identity. I invite you to get curious with yourself with some of the following questions:
“What’s more important than taking care of myself right now?”
“Why do I feel like x deserves my time more than y?”
“When did I start doing things this way?”
“What is standing in my way of completing this?”
“What is it about this that I don’t like? And why don’t I like it?”
These of course are framed more with health and fitness in mind but they can be reworked to apply to anything. We can take it one step further by working in DBT skills ‘wise mind’ and ‘radical acceptance.’
An example of practicing wise mind might look like this:
Emotion mind: I never finish anything, I’m the worst.
Reasonable mind: I need to get up and move, I have tasks and deadlines.
Wise mind: Something in me feels off. What happens if I get quiet and listen.
Prompt: If I didn’t shame myself for this feeling, what might I notice instead?
An example of practicing radical acceptance:
Accepting doesn’t mean approving, it simply means acknowledging what is
without adding any additional suffering (shame or guilt).
Ex: “I accept that I’ve been feeling low motivation. That is the reality of this
moment. What do I need now? What might my body, mind, or spirit be asking for
in this moment that is missing?”
Motivation inherently is fickle, it will wane. That is normal, you are human, motivation cannot be counted on. Maybe the next time you are ready to berate yourself for a lack of motivation it might be helpful to pause and assess your surroundings – what do your relationships look like? What does your work environment look like? And remind yourself this is a normal part of life. When motivation fails, pause and reassess and there’s always more to the story.
